Thursday, February 3, 2011

Preparing for the Worst

When leaving the house alone, before we walk out the door my dad's new question is, "Do you have your Mace?" 
The other day, Nicole left to run an errand a couple blocks away. When my dad found out, he got mad then made me (Bethany) run after her. Imagine ME trying to protect NICOLE! What a JOKE!
So I raced down the street after her with my handy dandy can of Mace, laughing all the way. I did get a few weird looks. 
There have been a few kidnappings lately that have not ended well, which has led us to a few serious discussions and Google-searching sessions on what to do if attacked, what not do in a parking garage, etc, etc. (Your elbow is your strongest point...use it!)

We have decided that Nicole will be the fighter and I will be the mace-sprayer. (God, please make the wind blow in the right direction....)
Seriously, when Nicole and I go downtown and get lost, I get annoyed with her when she gets that disoriented look on her face. She might as well have a sign on her forehead that says, "I don't know where I'm going! Kidnap me!!" I tell her to always look alert and like she knows where she is going or she will make herself a target. (This is my reasoning anyways). 

So here is a look into the Wakefield girls' daily routine....
Before you leave get your mace, cellphone, and keys. (So you can key somebody!)

Always be on alert, everywhere you go. When you leave your house, look around carefully....

Have your mace out and ready, then do the army crawl to the front gate/door. If you have goggles, wear them. If you get yourself in a pickle and are panicked, you might actually get the mace nozzle pointed towards yourself instead of your attacker. Not good. Also...the wind might not be in your favor. 

Peek and make sure no one is lurking around, waiting to pull a snatch-and-run on you.
(As you can see, Beau will be a great help in the event of an assault...)

Just because you make it out your front door safely, does NOT mean it's time to let your guard down!
Look around all corners carefully. 
(It's ok to eat popcorn while doing this as long as the popcorn does not become a distraction). 

Make sure you have all weapons loaded....

If all looks safe, you may then cautiously (but quickly) proceed to the get-away vehicle...

Then sit down, zip your lip, and here we GO! 


Elias said...

hahaha Love this post. It's funny how the big dogs are always soft. lol

Kathy McElhaney said...

You girls are so crazy!!! But PLEASE be careful out there!

Anonymous said...

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Jess said...

Funniest post evah beth!!!!!!!!! crackin' up here! <3 you sis(es). :)

The Wakefields: Missionaries to Mexico said...

Anon-WELL THANKS!! I'm glad I was SUCH a HELP!! Hahha!!
(Isn't spam just GREAT!)

Jess-I love you too!


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