Friday, April 5, 2013

New Job Opportunity

Sunday evening I was sitting in church. Nicole had taken my girl's class so I was hanging with my homies in the adult class. I was listening intently when our assistant pastor's wife taps me on the shoulder. She says there are some ladies outside that want to talk with "la hija del pastor". The pastor's daughter. Ok, that's weird.

I get up and walk out, feeling very convicted. I get on to my kids for leaving in the middle of the teaching. I get outside and see a young lady and older woman. I know immediately that they are "spiritual" because they shake my hand and greet me with a holy kiss. Well...that's nice.

 They tell me they have come to a few services in the past, and I try to jog my memory. Nada. They don't look familiar, but we get enough people coming through so that is not surprising. The young lady's manner is very ingratiating, which immediately makes me suspicious. HA!

They explain about having come before and that they live in the colonia. She has a question for me. I am smiling, just *knowing* she is about to ask if I could give her a Bible study. Wrong.

"Can you give me piano lessons?"

What? Did you seriously just pull me out of church to ask me to give you lessons? You say you have come to my church before so you've obviously heard me play the piano. Are you out of your mind?? Very suspicious, indeed.
I did not voice this. Except I did ask if if she had ever heard me play before.

Talk about being put on the spot!!!!!! I'm standing there like, "Duuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........????" What do I say?? I wanted to say "NO way, Jose!" But I felt that would be rude. I was very plain with them. I've never had a lesson in my life. I've never taught a piano lesson in my life. I am very busy, especially on Sundays (they said that was the perfect day for them). My piano skills are precarious, to say the least. I am a very expensive teacher. Just kidding.
I told them to give me a few days to think about it. "Let me talk it over with my dad. You see, both my parents are in the US; they are very busy so I will need time to get a hold of them."
(Dad, if you are reading this...I need to talk to you... haha.)

The mother then asks me if I play the violin. No, I do not.
"Do you play the guitar?" She asks.
"Weeeell...yeah, maybe you could classify it as playing."
She clapped her hands, practically squealing. "Then you can teach ME how to play the guitar!!"

*Insert the sound of breaks slamming and tires squealing*

"I know even less on the guitar than on the piano! I have to put my foot down here, I cannot in all good conscience, give you guitar lessons."

The mother was disappointed, but it did not slow them down. They said they have another question. The young lady begins explaining something to me. I was not comprehending exactly what she was talking about. Something about accompanying her to an "event".

"What do you mean "event"? A graduation, a wedding??" I was getting even more suspicious by the second.

Mother and daughter both laugh and look at each other like, "Isn't she so cute?!" They seem to be beating around the bush.

The daughter says "No, it is a meeting." *Clears throat* "You would play and I would talk. I am going to teach a lesson at a new work we are starting. We would minister together." She dreamily tells me this as she is piously clasping her hands together.

"Minster?? Well that is what I do best!!!" Totally on board with this idea, of COURSE.

"Ahhh, so this is a church service, basically." Both ladies insist that it is not a church. Just a "new work." Uh huh.

Like I am not busy enough with the school and my own church? Sigh.
Honesty is truly the best policy. Therefore, I let them know what I think of women preachers. Especially ones that wear makeup and cut their hair. Lol, just kidding, I did not got there with them. I did let them know that that is of absolutely of no interest to me. They were pushing it with the lessons hahahahah!



Cherie said...

I know I've already told you this many a time, honey dearie, but you play the piano wonderfully!! You would never know that you've never had a lesson. I think you'd be an awesome piano teacher!

Curtis Wakefield said...

You are so funny, Beth!!!

allanatohonduras said...

RFLOL that is tooooooo funny. Oh the things you experience... *wistful smile*

Jennifer Connell said...

Oh Bethany, how could you turn down such a wonderful opportunity to 'minister?!' ;)
TOO Funny!!

Anali said...

Whaaat? You didn't take the opportunity?
Why not?!

Heh heh.. I kid I kid..

Total Pageviews